Feelings And Online Dating

I’ve never been good at sharing my feelings. Death bothers me but other than the time my great grandmother died in the third grade I haven’t shed a tear. Love is something I can say I’ve experienced but only through connections to friends and family. So don’t get me wrong when I admit to liking someone it means I really like them. And that is where the problem lies…

  I succumbed to the world of online dating and quickly figured out what apps did and didn’t work for me. Casual suits me better. I don’t mind answering questions but after an hour I want to be done and on with it. So I set up a few profiles. Sent out feelers. Lo and behold I got responses (a few too many occasionally). Before replying I checked profiles, I mean great we matched but do we really match. Some were misses but the few that were hits I messaged back. 

   Guy number 1 was nice. A bit older but seemed like a very good choice for me. We talked for awhile even snapchatted a bit. Then the crazy switch flipped and I found out just how quickly I could block someone. Guy number 2 was a bit young. But seemed okay and I was willing to give him a shot. Until a lack of ambition or will lead me to stop that before it got started. Finally, on to guy number 3 and my suck attempt at feelings…

   Guy number 3 and I started talking, flirting really. Sparks were flying and i was falling fast. And let me tell you I can not remember the last time I fell like this. Daily conversations, crazy Snapchats, and the flirting oh my goodness. Then silence. Left on read. Ignored. He claims he’s busy. And he could be. Who isn’t? I know I am. Friend number 2 is getting hitched, work is insane right now, and I’m sick. I’ve still been trying to keep it up. Was it too much? Maybe too little. Maybe my anxiety that made me cancel our first date ruined it. But it was still going strong after that. Maybe I’m just overthinking it all. 

So stay tuned folks. Who knows where this is headed. Either back to the apps or waiting around for the one who seems almost too good…

New Year, new me?

I don’t often make resolutions. It’s just not my thing. But this time is different. I started 2016 with a lot of mixed feelings. Heart break. Depression. Anger. So much wasn’t happening and I just felt like I was slowly limping along. On the last day of such a hellish year though I feel prepared. I feel ready to take on anyone and anything. This is going to be my year of accomplishments. My year to finally become me. I have a few major goals but it’s the minor goals that’ll really make the difference.

2016 was my year of me. It was about getting back to a mentally and emotionally stable place. I made a year long bucket list of stuff to help get me there. Simple stuff like buy yourself that thing you want, spend more time with your friends, write, etc. There’s a few things left on there and still time to finish them but you get the idea. This year has turned into one of such happiness that I don’t even recognize who I was at the start. That feeling of accomplishment is what I want to carry into 2017. I want to continue on this path of improvement.

Thus my goals are simple and few. Get a new job, don’t get me wrong I love my current job (something I haven’t experienced in years) but I need something permanent. Save money, this is the big one. And finally just get out there, I need to stop being such a homebody. I am 24 years old and single. My life is wasted spent at home playing games on my phone and watching trash TV. Hopefully I’ll be able to meet these few goals during 2017 and set myself up for an even better 2018.

Trees, toast, and giggles

Sunday’s don’t tend to be the best days or anyone’s favorite days.

Sunday’s don’t tend to be my favorite day or anyone’s really. But this Sunday will probably be my favorite day this week. It technically started Saturday night with a sleepover and Christmas movies. Two animated favorites and a classic. Which slowly dissolved into dozing off on the couch and being startled awake by a cat’s pounce. 

Sunday morning dawned gray and bitterly cold. Getting dressed happened quickly between the petting of cats. Shortly we headed out and made our way downtown. Of course we then proceeded to venture around and around looking for parking because it was game day. But finally we found a spot and set out to hunt for food. Soon after we sat, warm drinks were ordered and menus poured over in search of food. I ordered french toast that was the best I’d ever had. Smothered in blueberry compote, granola, and strawberries. I’m drooling now just thinking about it.

Next we took the round about route to the Indiana Historical Society. Of course what could have been a small little wander about turned into a rather long, work off breakfast walk. But we got there and it could not have been anymore magical walking in. There were four gorgeous trees just in the room where the reception desk is. Decorated in gorgeous colors. The hallway lead to the main gallery that was filled with trees and a birthday setup for Indiana. We strolled around taking in all the beautifully decorated trees. Each with its own theme. After a difficult elevator trip, in which we ended up on every floor except the one we want. We reached the second and third floors. Each tree more amazing than the last. After it was all said and done we voted for our favorite trees. Which in a few weeks the winner will be revealed and I can’t wait to see it.

To see more trees check out my vlog of the day: https://youtu.be/0j2YTlcBOxM

Jingle Rails

Yesterday was one of those days that I started out hating and ended up loving with my whole heart. It was a typical Thursday at work maybe just a little slower. I suppose the anticipation of the rest of the day could have made it seem so but the slowness was killing me. Finally two o’clock hit and I was out of there.

The Eiteljorg Musuem’ s holiday exhibit this year was called Jingle Rails. It was filled with trains, National Monuments, and Indiana Monuments. All of the monuments were made out if wood or various tree bits and we’re the coolest things ever (check out the pictures at the end of this to see). They had a mini Old Faithful that steamed and went off just like the actual geyser. Tipis that had fake fires glowing from the inside. Totem poles that were detailed beautifully. My friend and I absolutely loved it and her little boy enjoyed it twice as much as we did. Not to mention it made my heart so happy to see all those trains. It reminded me so much of my great grandpa and I just know he would have loved seeing it.

Hectic Times

Blinked and it was gone.

I am weeks late in finally posting but frankly everything has been a blur. The election was heartbreaking. Threw a baby sprinkle with only 24hrs prep. Now it’s almost Thanksgiving. Where has November gone? I blinked and it’s almost ended. Normally I hate this time of year (working retail does that to you) but for once I wanted to enjoy it. Bask in all the fall things. Instead I missed out. Now I’m planning Christmas things back to back in hopes that I won’t miss anything else. No more blinking. 

   As a quick sidenote: what’s everyone’s favorite winter activity? I’m looking for ideas. I actually want to spend time outside doing things. I want to go places with people. My goal is to be constantly doing wintery good stuff with my favorite people. The first of this wintery goodness is plans to go see the Jingle Rails at the Eiteljorg. I am so excited! Soon to follow that is a trip to see the Festival of Trees at the historic society. Not to mention Friendsmas! So many exciting things to do before heading south for Christmas. Expect tons of adventure posts incoming.

Time to take care of me

Speak my mind and be heard.

I spend a decent amount of my time doing things for others. Frankly I love it. But I’ve also reached that overextended point and time. September flew by. A vacation ended and it was right back to work. Plus the planning of a bridal shower. Fast forward to October and it’s Halloween everything and more work. Now it’s November 7th and I already feel like I’m a month behind.  All I’m trying to do is plan a very tiny baby sprinkle. Nothing big, nothing complicated. Just easy. Yet my anxiety and need to make everything the best have kicked into overdrive. 

   After Christmas I am going to be all about me. I am going to finally fix my room. Finish unpacking, since we’ve lived here for two years, and hang up the rest of my frames. Clean my room too. Because it continues to look like a tornado went off in there. Buy furniture that makes sense for my age/needs. And a mattress. An actual queen sized mattress. These are the biggest needs I have.

   Second, I’m going to need to take care of me. Take more time out to do what I want. To not feel guilty when I buy myself soemthing. Yet also save money and feel wise about it. For once I just need to take time out for me. I need to be selfish. Say no when I don’t want to do something with out that guilty feeling later. Speak my mind and be heard. Because I deserve this.

Costumes, costumes everywhere

Let it be no surprise but, I am a rather big fan of Halloween. Especially costumes. Always have been. When I was a kid my mom made them and a few years I’ve made my own. Some years it’s not what I started out shooting for but I always nail it in the end. I’ve never repeated a costume and for those of you about to point out that the same costume is worn twice above there was a different theme.

This year the annual Halloween party was at my house. There was food and scary movies galore. Not to mention memorable costumes. From onesies to Whovians to dead creepy. Games were played. Laughs were had. And an inside joke was made that’ll last awhile. All in all it was a blast. I had hoped for more people but there’s only so much one can do.

Our house, as per usual, was decorated to the nines. Receiving tons of compliments and pictures taken. Not to mention I really enjoy how it looks when it’s decorated. It just looks so awesome and magical. I wish it could be this way all the time. Can’t Halloweentown be a real thing?

(Sorry I’m a day late but I was busy passing out candy yesterday.) Hope your Halloweens were magical.