Feelings And Online Dating

I’ve never been good at sharing my feelings. Death bothers me but other than the time my great grandmother died in the third grade I haven’t shed a tear. Love is something I can say I’ve experienced but only through connections to friends and family. So don’t get me wrong when I admit to liking someone it means I really like them. And that is where the problem lies…

  I succumbed to the world of online dating and quickly figured out what apps did and didn’t work for me. Casual suits me better. I don’t mind answering questions but after an hour I want to be done and on with it. So I set up a few profiles. Sent out feelers. Lo and behold I got responses (a few too many occasionally). Before replying I checked profiles, I mean great we matched but do we really match. Some were misses but the few that were hits I messaged back. 

   Guy number 1 was nice. A bit older but seemed like a very good choice for me. We talked for awhile even snapchatted a bit. Then the crazy switch flipped and I found out just how quickly I could block someone. Guy number 2 was a bit young. But seemed okay and I was willing to give him a shot. Until a lack of ambition or will lead me to stop that before it got started. Finally, on to guy number 3 and my suck attempt at feelings…

   Guy number 3 and I started talking, flirting really. Sparks were flying and i was falling fast. And let me tell you I can not remember the last time I fell like this. Daily conversations, crazy Snapchats, and the flirting oh my goodness. Then silence. Left on read. Ignored. He claims he’s busy. And he could be. Who isn’t? I know I am. Friend number 2 is getting hitched, work is insane right now, and I’m sick. I’ve still been trying to keep it up. Was it too much? Maybe too little. Maybe my anxiety that made me cancel our first date ruined it. But it was still going strong after that. Maybe I’m just overthinking it all. 

So stay tuned folks. Who knows where this is headed. Either back to the apps or waiting around for the one who seems almost too good…

New Year, new me?

I don’t often make resolutions. It’s just not my thing. But this time is different. I started 2016 with a lot of mixed feelings. Heart break. Depression. Anger. So much wasn’t happening and I just felt like I was slowly limping along. On the last day of such a hellish year though I feel prepared. I feel ready to take on anyone and anything. This is going to be my year of accomplishments. My year to finally become me. I have a few major goals but it’s the minor goals that’ll really make the difference.

2016 was my year of me. It was about getting back to a mentally and emotionally stable place. I made a year long bucket list of stuff to help get me there. Simple stuff like buy yourself that thing you want, spend more time with your friends, write, etc. There’s a few things left on there and still time to finish them but you get the idea. This year has turned into one of such happiness that I don’t even recognize who I was at the start. That feeling of accomplishment is what I want to carry into 2017. I want to continue on this path of improvement.

Thus my goals are simple and few. Get a new job, don’t get me wrong I love my current job (something I haven’t experienced in years) but I need something permanent. Save money, this is the big one. And finally just get out there, I need to stop being such a homebody. I am 24 years old and single. My life is wasted spent at home playing games on my phone and watching trash TV. Hopefully I’ll be able to meet these few goals during 2017 and set myself up for an even better 2018.