Feelings And Online Dating

I’ve never been good at sharing my feelings. Death bothers me but other than the time my great grandmother died in the third grade I haven’t shed a tear. Love is something I can say I’ve experienced but only through connections to friends and family. So don’t get me wrong when I admit to liking someone it means I really like them. And that is where the problem lies…

  I succumbed to the world of online dating and quickly figured out what apps did and didn’t work for me. Casual suits me better. I don’t mind answering questions but after an hour I want to be done and on with it. So I set up a few profiles. Sent out feelers. Lo and behold I got responses (a few too many occasionally). Before replying I checked profiles, I mean great we matched but do we really match. Some were misses but the few that were hits I messaged back. 

   Guy number 1 was nice. A bit older but seemed like a very good choice for me. We talked for awhile even snapchatted a bit. Then the crazy switch flipped and I found out just how quickly I could block someone. Guy number 2 was a bit young. But seemed okay and I was willing to give him a shot. Until a lack of ambition or will lead me to stop that before it got started. Finally, on to guy number 3 and my suck attempt at feelings…

   Guy number 3 and I started talking, flirting really. Sparks were flying and i was falling fast. And let me tell you I can not remember the last time I fell like this. Daily conversations, crazy Snapchats, and the flirting oh my goodness. Then silence. Left on read. Ignored. He claims he’s busy. And he could be. Who isn’t? I know I am. Friend number 2 is getting hitched, work is insane right now, and I’m sick. I’ve still been trying to keep it up. Was it too much? Maybe too little. Maybe my anxiety that made me cancel our first date ruined it. But it was still going strong after that. Maybe I’m just overthinking it all. 

So stay tuned folks. Who knows where this is headed. Either back to the apps or waiting around for the one who seems almost too good…

October Vibes

“I am so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers…”

    October is always and will always be my favorite month. It is full of fresh starts, good vibes, and fun times all around. No shock that Halloween is my favorite holiday to boot. I may be a summer baby but my soul belongs to fall. Despite my hatred of cold weather I love brisk fall mornings where the sun starts to rise and shine through gorgeous colored leaves.

   That’s the good thing about living in Indiana. Whether you want to or not you get to experience all four seasons. And let me tell you fall is gorgeous. It’s not rainy and miserable like spring. Not cold, bitter, and biting like winter. Nor is it sweltering like summer. Fall is the absolute perfect mix of sunshine and cool wind. The trees, bushes, and all other foliage do wondrous things turning shades of crimson, gold, and amber. Everything about fall just makes things seem better. 

     The whole month is like one big, warm hug. Giving you healing vibes and sending you warm wishes. October  sees your pain and holds you tight washing it away in slow waves of change. The weather cooling reminds you to be level-headed. Changing colors tell you it’s time to turn over a new leaf. Everything just screams at you to take care of you. To take time off to explore the changing world and watch as it dies to reveal inner beauty. True beauty.

“I am so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”-Anne of Green Gables